Tuesday, July 14, 2009


One thing I have learned about myself during this adoption process is that I don't like it when I don't have control of a situation. I never knew this about myself before. I thought I was a laid back kind of person. Never did I realize how upsetting it could be to not know what the day has in store or when things are going to happen. To have to put your trust in another person or people that you don't really know is scary. When completing an international adoption, you have to trust the people you are paired up with in country to be honest and to do the right thing. You have to do this while not really knowing what's going on. It's hard! It's scary! And, you do this without the support of the people at home that make you feel stronger (yes, they support you/ me, but they aren't HERE) than you probably really are. I say this not to scare anyone away from adopting internationally, but to prepare you. You HAVE to learn to hand it over to God, and learn it well! I'm still learning this little trick, and I know this whole process would be much easier if I could hand it to Him and leave it with Him....problem is, I keep taking it back. So, the truth is, I shouldn't be putting my trust or faith in these paople I barely know, but I should be placing it with God. I should be trusting Him to pair me with people who are trust worthy. I think He did. I like to think everything is on schedule and going as planned, but I just don't know. But, I am trying really really hard to have faith and trust in God that things are on schedule. I have to let go and be okay with the lack of control. That's really hard for a mom, I'm used to controlling the day...what happens, when it happens, and who it happens with. Not here, not now, I have no control!


  1. I am so much like this...good reminder post for me!!!! My prayers are with ya!

  2. Hey Lyndi, It's certainly a lot of uncertainty when you're in Ukraine! Praying things come together quickly for you and you can be back in your comfy home soon :) And praising God at the same time that He's doing a new work in your life. We went through much of the same- our experience in Ukraine involved more trust and "handing it over" than we ever dreamed, and He continues to grow us from that experience!


  3. I am struggling right with you! I keep saying I am trusting him then I turn right around and start to worry again! How trusting is that??? I can honestly say that I have grown during this process, but by the current state of affairs that just implies I was rather bad off to start with! :)

  4. Yes, leaving it with the Lord can be tough, and for a mom very tough. It can also be an awesome time of growth with the Lord.

    I tell my kids it's like wearing a backpack full of troubles. You can choose to carry the heavy load alone, OR you can take the backpack off and give it to the Lord to carry for you. The hard part being not turning around a few minutes/days later and picking it back up to carry again on your own. The Lord will carry you!!!

    We pray for you all daily. I also wanted you to know that my family is doing a project on Ukraine for the coming school year, with a project to be completed and shared at a homeschool co-op in December. You are part of the reason we chose Ukraine...our interest in Patrick, your family, and the adoption. So I may pick your brain for some information and still a few pictures off the blog.

    Hope your having a good day, guess it would be night there now. Sorry for the essay comment :)