I have been having a hard time lately with the waiting portion of the adoption journey. I find myself daydreaming about the day I can hold Patrick in my arms, and how good his face will feel against mine. I'm amazed by the amount of love I am feeling for this child that I have never met. I've experienced life growing in me. I have born 5 children. When you are expecting, you are filled with love so early on, it's amazing. The whole time you are pregnant, you are bonding with this baby; the baby hears your voice, your heart beat, you feel its movements. It's an incredible journey. I NEVER thought adoption would work the same way. In January I started filling out papers, and more papers and more papers. It has been a labor of love. Patrick has truly grown in our hearts, and it's hard to describe the feelings I have for him. I dream of him at night, I think of him when I am awake. I wonder if he will like his bed, his room, his new siblings. I wonder if he will be a mamma's boy or a daddy's boy (hoping for a mamma's boy). I wonder if I should buy him toys now or wait until he is home. I think about the groups of friends he will make and the difference he is going to make in peoples lives. I wonder about how his hand will feel in mine. Will he like to be held and snuggle, or will he be the independent type? What will his first word in English be? Will he like his new name or wish we kept his birth name? My mind is constantly thinking about him and wondering about him. I pray that time flies quickly and he will be in my arms soon.