Return Flight Booked!

Yes, we have seats! We are booked and ready to go, but not until Thursday. Tomorrow is medical and visa day. But, other than that, we are done, and we are outta here!!!!!!!!!!!!

It came!

Yes, you read it right, the passport came! We are going home!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frustrated

His passport did NOT come today. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, but I really want to go home! I miss my family, a LOT!

I bought Patrick an Mp3 player the other day. He really likes music, and I thought this would be nice for him on the long flight home. I downloaded some American children's songs, that was easy! I uploaded 2 cds that I brought with me that he seems to enjoy, that also was easy. Then I thought it would be nice to have some Russian children's songs on there too, not so easy. Oh, I found them, that wasn't hard, Amazon has several downloadable Russian tunes for kids. The problem is, you have to be in the US to download them. How dumb is that? I have to be in American to download a Russian song? I mean, it is actually in Russian, I heard samples....understood NOTHING! Why can't I get that while I'm actually here? My next step is to go and buy a Russian cd and upload it for him. I will just have to trust the sales clerk to point me in the right direction.

Please please pray that his passport comes tomorrow. I need to see my other children and my husband, I miss them soooooo much!!!

Opening back up to the public

Now that I am nearing the end and will hopefully return home soon, I am taking my blog off of the private setting. Once I am home I will then close down this blog and only use the family blog. Afterall, Patrick is now offically a part of our family and should be on the same page. Plus, who has time for two blogs? I hardly have time to to read my e-mail these days! Thanks to all of you who have encouraged me and supported me through this journey. I am still shocked and amazed that I am here and that Patrick is mine. I am honored that I am allowed to raise this child along side my homegrown children. I can't wait to get them all together and watch my family learn and grow together.

Truth

Here is a post adoption truth. I want to keep it real without scaring anyone away from wanting to adopt. Some things aren't going to be easy though. Here is what life has been like these first few days:

It's like having a baby around. You know when they first learn to crawl, and they are exploring. They are too young to really understand the dangers but they are everywhere all the time. They are across the room and into something at the blink of an eye, and nothing you say can distract them because they just don't understand. That's Patrick, only able to walk and run at full speed. Same mind set though, same goal. He wants to explore and learn, he just doens't know how to do that safely, and it's scary.

He doesn't understand and know not to touch, not to take his clothes off, not to do certain things that our homegrown children learn just from watching us. Some things I never had to teach my kids, they just learned by example. Patrick has never had an example to learn from. It is hard to discipline or correct him, he just laughs. He doesn't even understand simple discipline. I've had to stop cooking in the apartment, because it just isn't safe. The stove top here is very low and he can reach the back burner, and he wants to touch it when there is a pot there. No matter how many times I say no, no matter how harshly I say it, no matter how many times I try and redirect...he only wants the hot pot on the stove. So, we eat out. He actually does amazing eating out (thank God for that!).

But, it's hard. Truthfully, it's very hard. It's physically and emotionally draining to keep up with Patrick. Is it worth it, YES! Would I do it again tomorrow if I knew it would be this hard, YES! Sad, YES! But, I love him, and he is worth this little bit of hardship for me. To know that he will never see the inside of an institution and to know that he will go to sleep every night knowing he has a mommy and a daddy who forever will love him, it's worth it. I wouldn't change a thing about our decision to bring him into our family.

So, that's my truth for the day, and now, this tired momma is going to join my sleeping angel and go to sleep!

My apartment smells like s#%^

Why? Because Patrick has picked up a lovely new habit. He strips all his clothes off, refuses to sit on the potty (I think he may be used to a smaller kid sized potty chair)and proceeds to pee and poop on the floor. Well, not always on the floor. At one point today, while I was on skype trying to help another family, he climbed into his stroller and used it as his restroom. I got him all cleaned up, cleaned the stroller..all is good. We went out for dinner, came home, gave him a bath. While I left him standing with his towel, I went to get his pajamas, and he peed and pooped in MY SHOE! I'm starting to hate (strong word, I know) the orphange people for allowing these children to run around naked and pee and poop in the yard whenever they had the need instead of taking them in to use the toilet. I have to untrain him and then retrain him. It honestly would have been easier for him to not be trained at all. It's hard to unteach something. We'll get it done though, and in the mean time, I get new shoes tomorrow!!!

And, by the way, even with all the pee and poop everywhere, I LOVE THIS KID!!!!!!!

First night and first full day together...

Last night was loooong. He was very hyper and really wasn't sure about this whole sleeping thing. He is definately used to sleeping in his bed in the room full of many other beds. Once I got him to stay in bed, I layed next to him and just gently rubbed his head and back until he fell asleep. However, that is not where the night ended. He woke up several times during the night, and I mean several! He was a very squirmy sleeper, but when he awoke, he would sit up and rock himself. This broke my heart. He didn't know that I was there for him, so now I have to teach him that even at night, he is not alone, I am there for him. Everytime I felt him rocking, I would lay him down, talk to him in a whisper and rub his head again (that seems to relax him). I'm thrilled that he let me comfort him even when he is half asleep, I think that in itself is a very good thing, but I hope to get to where he knows he can ask for me and not have to even begin to soothe himself. It was just so hard to see that.

Today we walked to the market to get some t.p. and other supplies, and on the way back got a phone call that our code thingy was in and we were going to apply for his passport today. So, we thten had to rush home, unload te groceries, repack the diaper bag and get to where we were getting picked up (all in less than 30 minutes). We were picked up at 11am and didn't get home until 3:30pm. It was a long day at the passport office, but one well spent. Thankfully tey had a playground outside, so while we were doing all this waiting, at least we had something fun to do. Poor guy was just worn out after so much adventure. In fact, it is 5pm now and he is still asleep, I am about to wake him up so we can go eat dinner.

Maybe he will sleep better tonight after such an active day?!

Anyway, all things considered, I think he is doing great! Have I mentioned just how much I love this guy??!!